Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans.
As this semester has gone on, I’ve developed somewhat of a resentment to school. I’ve slowly begun to realize (again?) that the teaching lifestyle and my ideal lifestyle are at rather opposite ends of the spectrum. I rather enjoy having free time to do what I want, and as a music teacher there’s even less of it.
However, I was so close to finishing I thought, “Hey, I’ll suck it up and bear it and at least try it,” so I kind of plugged along this semester, trying to stay motivated while slowly beginning to realize that my heart really isn’t in music at all. I don’t know if it’s tied to the teaching thing, or if I’m burned out, or that maybe it was never there at all and that I was trying to build a house out of straws.
Most of this came to a head when I received notification from the university that I will not be eligible to receive financial aid next year. So, I would have to find some way to earn the money to pay for what is basically a teaching internship. I sat down and looked at the numbers, and, to make a long story short, I would have to work 35 hours a week to pay for school on top of all my other current expenses. Plus, Maggie and I were planning on going to Europe with wind ensemble this summer, and as you can guess, the two are pretty much mutually financially exclusive.
So, at this point, I realize that life’s current plan is pretty much impossible. Motivation drops through the floor, which is about where I’m sitting right now. I need to switch my degree to B.A in Music, making all of my current music classes, you guessed it, completely worthless. I have a music history term paper, music ed. portfolio and final project, and juries to finish this semester, and have no motivation for any of it. I’m reconsidering whether I should even do my planned recital in April, since it isn’t necessary anymore and it’s certainly going to cause me more stress than enjoyment.
So, here’s to the last two weeks of the semester. I hope I can get everything done.



Hang in there for the semester. Why won’t you be eligible for aid?
6 years.