more animals

I was reading through iFixit’s disassembly of the new MacBook, and found this little gem, in reference to the new battery latch which is not a coin-turn one like the old ones:

“For those hurt by the financial crisis, a coin is no longer required.”

I don’t usually do this, but…

“The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners.”

All is now right with the world. Robin Hood: Men in Tights is due out on DVD in April.

Stolen from Mel’s blog:

Q: How many Bush Administration Officials does it take to screw in a light bulb (In a case where the bulb has totally burned out)?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. The light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

A beautiful woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday evening after work. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”.

Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!”

The woman continues, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and excitedly drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police . . . ”

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are cleverly evil!

Random funny…

Recent news about the avian flu virus has raised concerns from Main Street to the White House. There is the possibility, even likelihood, that the virus will mutate into a form that can more easily infect humans. As the President pointed out, a vaccine cannot be made until this evolution occurs. This raises the concern that it may be impossible to create enough vaccine fast enough to protect all our citizens.

But there is hope. Gallup polls tell us that up to 45 percent of Americans don’t believe in evolution. Since random mutation is the engine of evolution, these same people must believe that the virus cannot mutate. Therefore, there is no need to waste vaccine on folks who believe there is no possible threat to themselves — thus leaving a sufficient supply for the rest of us.

Perhaps the President, given his doubts about evolution, may wish to demonstrate his leadership by foregoing vaccination.

This approach has added benefits. Polls also tell us that disbelief in evolution is more pronounced among the less educated, the poor and conservatives. If the anti-evolutionists among these groups were to opt out of vaccination then, through immediate deaths and natural selection, we would reduce poverty, raise educational attainment, and become a more progressive society.

George R. Zug
Smithsonian Institution, Division of Amphibians & Reptiles/mrc162

“If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes… oh wait a minute, he already does.”